Searching, Finding, Living (On My 70th Birthday)…

Quotes and Notes #307, September 7

It's a pretty place, It is alluring, but be careful. Photo by Bill Land

It’s a pretty place, It is alluring, but be careful. Photo by Bill Land

Today, on my 70th birthday, instead of a quote I am going to share an original writing about my progress in life. It contains vivid mental pictures.

Escape
6 years old
When I was very young
My mother pointed and said
“Don’t go over there.”
I wondered why.

16 years old
For years, I looked in that direction
And wondered what was “over there.”
I thought about “over there” a lot
And I asked myself, “I wonder what would happen if…”

26 years old
“Over there” became an obsession
I kept looking in that direction, not moving.
Then, one day I turned and began to drift
Slowly, fearfully, and carefully.

36 years old
I went as far as I could
There was a precipice and a cliff
I looked over the brink and saw…
Nothing—no bottom as far as I could see.

46 years old
I had visited the brink so many times.
I was obsessed with it.
I spent most of my time at the brink
Neglecting work, friends, and family.

56 years old
I was dizzy. I stepped over the edge
I slowly floated down toward the unseen bottom
The descent was slow at first and then faster and faster
And faster and faster
With no bottom in sight, I fell and fell,
Without realizing that I was falling.

I approached the bottom and the bottom of the bottom
Was a mirror. I fell rapidly toward it and gazed into it
And I saw myself
I saw myself as someone I did not wish to be.

And at that moment, I found that I had wings
And that I could spread the wings and stop my fall
I realized that I could escape the obscure ending.
And I landed next to a wall of rock
That ascended farther than I could see.

66 years old
I had climbed the rock wall for years.
Sometimes I made good progress
Sometimes the going got rather difficult,
Sometimes the going was fun and easy.
At a place almost to the top, I almost fell
Into what would have been a certain ending.

I found the top of the rock wall
And climbed carefully to the level ground
At the other side of the precipice.
I walked off happily, finding love and life.

70 years old
That was truly an adventure
I came close, so close to the bottom
Then I came close, so close to the top.
Everything is going to be all right.

Give someone a smile on my Birthday
John P. Schulz—“Sweetie Drives on Chemo Days.”

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. janeschulz
    Sep 08, 2015 @ 17:10:21

    I told you not to go there!

    Reply

  2. Ro Rob
    Sep 07, 2015 @ 19:40:51

    You do know that you just described my life. Of course you do. Embracing the journey now.

    Reply

  3. Tom Schulz
    Sep 07, 2015 @ 16:51:09

    Nice.

    Reply

  4. Carol Young
    Sep 07, 2015 @ 10:24:53

    I adore your writings… your chosen words… you encourage and widen and uplift and open wonderings and gentle some ruffles and ruffle some needed folds and hug when you not know so exactly and give the needs of wanting more of you words too… thank you more than words I do have in me… I love who you are, John Paul , my true friend in life… ❤

    Reply

  5. Margaret Ingram
    Sep 07, 2015 @ 10:22:40

    Very nice, John. Happy Birthday.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Reply

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